A couple of years ago, comedian Yola Jean Lu decided to create a one-woman show for the express purpose of talking about things on stage that she struggled to talk about even with close friends. That show, Help! My Vagina is Trying to Kill Me!, has evolved a bit since then – she’s performed versions of it at both Edinburgh Fringe Festival and Austin’s Frontera Fest – and now she’s performing (and taping) the latest version one night only on November 1 at the Rosette Theater.
“So I found out about 2 years ago [when] I was in for like a routine Pap smear, it came back abnormal and then I found out I had HPV and like these grade 3 cells that could turn into potentially cervical cancer… and then I think it was that moment that I thought, oh my gosh, my vagina is trying to kill me. And then it kind of sparked this idea in my head,” Lu says of the inspiration for the show. “And… prior to that I already had like two big instances of why I would say my vagina was killing me. In late 2019 I had a pretty intense and traumatic pregnancy loss miscarriage. And it happened like right when we hit the second trimester and I think I was shocked by it because I didn't realize how painful it [would be]. And then what I had been dealing with for most of my life… around like 23 was when I got diagnosed with HSV-2, which is also known as genital herpes. I remember being so devastated by that… and I thought this was the end of the world and everything.
“I didn't really tell any of my friends,” she says. “I felt really ashamed about it and I didn't know about Reddit really at the time to like find a community, but as I was looking up stuff for the show [more recently], it was Interesting to see that so many people shared the same thoughts and sentiment of also thinking this was the end of the world… and so I started realizing that there is this, like, loneliness and shame that a lot of us have gone through and so I thought maybe I would make a show that I wish existed when I was feeling really alone and I didn't really know who to talk to.”
A longtime comedian, Lu knew the show had to be funny but without making herpes or the people living with herpes the butt of the joke. “I feel like there hasn't been a full show really about herpes or miscarriages… in a way that is trying to make it funny, but not punching down,” she says. “That's always been very much of who I am – I never want to punch down. I did just want to make a show that wasn't preachy, it doesn't tell people like what to think or anything and it's not like so TED Talk Education,” she says. “It infuses a lot of my stand up and storytelling. There’s some sketch stuff, some video things in there. This is the third iteration of the show, and this one is so much more me. I think it's a lot sillier and weirder and but also I think still has like the same heart."
Lu says she knew she had to create the show precisely because it’d been so hard for her to talk about this part of her life offstage. “I don't think I wanted to do this,” she says. “I think because I still felt a lot of shame about these three topics. And it was one of my mentors, like my like my comedy big sister, she was telling me that because… I think I told her in 2020 and I've known her since 2011. And she was like, ‘You shouldn't just keep this in the dark because it's just gonna keep eating at you. So maybe you should just… air this out and it might actually bring you some peace.’”
She’s hoping that the show will do the same for some audience members. “I think I want people to – If they are experiencing stuff or have been going through this – I want them to feel hope. I want them to feel less alone. I don't tell anybody what to think or feel from the show, but I hope that it does make them think about some of the stuff I talked about.”
